Letters To & From My Father ~ Written by Robin Mohilner

in My Stories / Support for Parents / team THRIVE - OUR STORIES  by June 16, 2011 0 comments

I was 24 when I wrote these letters and in graduate school working through my pain.

On, October 22, 2004, I gave myself a two-part self-care assignment that I committed myself to.

 

 

Directions for my own self-care:

Robin, you are to write two letters:


Letter # 1:  Write a letter to your father

Letter #2:  Write a letter to yourself responding as if you are your father

 

 

Letter #1

In this letter, share with him both what you need and needed from him and how not having it affects and effected your life.


REQUIREMENTS:

I MUST take responsibility for my needs

I MUST NOT blame, shame, or judge him.

I MUST have compassion and empathy for who he is.

 

 

Letter #2


Write this letter to you, from your father.

Write the letter as though you are your father.

In this letter give yourself what you need to receive.

 

NOW, Robin…YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE THE LETTERS TO HIM,

but if you do, your relationship with him may be better as a result.

 

 

2009 Dancing with my Dad

 

 

Letter #1

Written by Robin Mohilner on October 22, 2004

 

Dear Dad,

 

I know that you did the best that you could do in raising me in each moment with the interpersonal resources that you had and circumstances that you faced.  Dad, I am so proud of you, it must have been so hard for you to be a father not knowing from your own father what it was like to receive unconditional love, support, safety and acceptance.

 

I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to never feel good enough in your father’s eyes.  I will never understand the pain of watching your mother be sick your whole life and having her die without ever seeing you become a man.  Now I can understand why you distanced yourself when mom had cancer and when grandma passed away.  I imagine that somewhere deep down inside your heart is still hurting.  It’s okay to cry Dad, its okay to mourn your loss.  It’s not your fault.

 

It must have been hard to become a father, to be fully responsible for another human life.  You must have been scared and confused at times not knowing what to do with the tiny fragile life that fit into the palm of your hands.  You must have felt a tremendous pressure knowing that your actions, words, deeds, values, and beliefs would shape this little life and mold it into a beautiful woman.

 

Dad, you succeeded.  I am the strong, intelligent and independent woman you hoped for me to be.   I am the woman who speaks her mind, stands for what she believes in, and isn’t afraid to take a risk.

 

However, Dad, I’m not the woman I desire to be and deserve to be.  And I am not as strong as you think I am.  Dad, I choose men that are emotionally unavailable because I do not know how to be or to allow myself to be loved by a man that is truly able to be a partner to me and love me for everything that I am.  Even worse, I try to change them.  I try to make them fall in love with me especially if they are emotionally unavailable.

 

I do this to myself because it is safe.  Dad, I love you more than words will ever express and I know you love me.  However, you were not emotionally available in my life.  You did not know how to express or show me love.  I knew you loved me, but I did not receive it.  I did not experience the emotion of being loved.   You had a hard time hugging me, and you didn’t tell me you loved me until I moved to college.

 

Dad, I couldn’t change you.  No matter how much I knew I needed to be loved, I couldn’t make you love me (show me that you love me).  So unconsciously, I recreate our relationship with men hoping that I can convince men who are emotionally unavailable to be able to truly be in love with me.  And Dad, I’ve failed every time.

 

Sadly enough, there is a belief floating within me that I’m not loveable.  Due to my choices, I have reinforced the belief multiple times.  I fear that if I continue on this path, I will come to consciously believe that I am not worthy of having someone be in love with me.

 

Dad, I don’t want to feel not loveable anymore.  I don’t want to have to convince or change a man to love me.  I finally realize that no man’s love can replace the love I needed to receive from you.  So I’m telling you now that I forgive you for not giving me the love that I needed.  I forgive you Dad.  I can’t change you, but I can forgive you.

 

At the same time, I give myself permission to accept full responsibility for my choices here-on-out.  I now have the gift of awareness and it is my duty to act on it.  It is my responsibility to make new choices in who I choose to love and move beyond my comfort zone of emotional unavailability.

 

I love you Dad.  And it’s not your fault that you couldn’t express to me the love that I needed.

 

All my love,

 

Robin

 

 

 

 

2006 "Father Daughter Cruise"2006 “Our Father Daughter Cruise”

 

 

Letter #2

Written by Robin Mohilner on October 26, 2004

 

 

 

Dear Robin,

 

I love you more than the word love could ever define.  It broke my heart to learn that deep inside you feel that you are unlovable.  Even though I completely disagree with your feelings, and see you as the most loving and lovable person I know, I want you to know that it’s okay for you to feel that way.  I’m sorry that you are hurting.

 

I don’t want to make any excuses for how I have treated you.  I haven’t been the most loving father.  I was not there for you in the way you needed me to be.  I couldn’t handle your sensitivity.  I reacted to your emotion by trying to fix your problems instead of allowing you to share your feelings with me.  I’d like to say that I reacted that way because I’m a man and that’s just what we do.  But that would be a cop-out.  Robin, I did the best that I could do and you deserve better.  I’m sorry my little girl, you’ll always be my little girl.  I am so sorry that I was not able to be the father that was able to show you how much I love you.

 

Robin, I’ve never told you how I see you.  I’ve never expressed to you your own worth.  I know I’ve told you that no man is good enough for you in my eyes, but I’ve never told you why I feel the way I do.  I don’t say that just because you’re my daughter.  Robin, you’ve been my source of hope and joy through out your entire life.  I looked forward to going to work in the morning, not because I liked my job, but because I knew that when I left the house at 6am, that my little girl would be in her bedroom window waiving to me and blowing me kisses.  You did that every morning and it gave me something to look forward to.  And I couldn’t wait to get home because I knew that the moment I stepped in the door, my little girl would be waiting for me at the top of the stairs.  You used to be so excited to see me.  You couldn’t wait to share what you learned with me.  You had so many questions to ask me.  You were full of so much life and you haven’t changed.  Robin, there were days I hated my life because I hated my job. Your beautiful spirit got me through those days and I took you with me everywhere I went.  You were my reason to move forward, to try, to work hard.  You are also the reason why I did not take promotions in my career because it would have required for me to spend less time with you.  I wasn’t willing to give that up for anything in the world.

 

I should have told you how much you mean to me.  I didn’t know how to.  So I’ll do my best now.  Robin, I am so proud of you.  I am so honored to be your father.  I believe in you.  Not just in your abilities to succeed in life.  I believe in your character.  I believe in your values.  I believe in and trust in the decisions you make.  Wow, I am so proud of who you are.  Robin, I’ve watched you struggle in life, I’ve watched you hurt, and I’ve seen your heart break.  It hurt me so deeply to not be able to help you; however, watching you overcome adversity and react to the world has given me the utmost faith and belief in you.  You cannot disappoint me.  You have never disappointed me.  Simply by being who you are, you have exceeded my expectations.

 

I know that I’ve never told you that you are beautiful.  I am so sorry for that.  I know that growing up you felt ugly and undesirable.  I didn’t do anything about it.  I realize that over the years I’ve just had a hard time looking at you.  I want to see you as my little girl, but you’re not anymore.  You are a beautiful woman.  It’s really hard for me to accept that.  I’ve never told you this, but I notice how men look at you when we go out.  They’re looking at my little girl sexually, and even though I know that you’re an adult and that you have sex, I just don’t want men looking at you in a disrespectful way.  So I guess that I keep myself from seeing what they see.  But I can’t deny that you are gorgeous.  However, you are gorgeous to me for different reasons.

 

To me Robin, your heart makes you gorgeous.  You amaze me. You give of yourself not expecting anything in return.  You love people unconditionally, even if they don’t love you.  You have always been there for people when they need you, even if they reject your help.  People have hurt you so deeply, yet you always find it in your heart to forgive them.  You fall down and get back up again.  I don’t know how you do it.  But you are the most loving human being on the face of this planet.  And I don’t just say that because I’m your father.  I say that because you are the only Robin that exists and I am so blessed to have the honor of being your father.

 

Now let’s talk about men and your relationships.  Robin, you know that I feel no man is good enough for you.  Again, it’s not just because I’m your father.  I realize and am so saddened that you have sought out emotionally unavailable men with the hope of changing them as a reflection of our relationship.  Watching you has brought me pain because deep down inside I have always known.  I can’t change that. I can’t change the wounds I’ve created within you and I can’t change your choices.  I hope that with you now realizing your dating pattern that you can change it yourself.

 

What I can do is tell you what I hope for you in a partner.  I want the man that you love to be able and willing to love you in the way you deserve to be loved.  He must love you unconditionally because any less is not worthy of your love.  A man that is worthy of you will adore you and cherish you.  He will be there for you and give you permission to be weak.  Robin, I know it’s hard for you to be weak; you’ve been the source of strength for far too many people your whole life.  This is why a man worthy of you will give you permission to trust him, to trust that it’s okay for you to be weak because he will be there for you.  Robin, I’ve watched you be rejected by men and I know the pain that it has caused you.  A man worthy of you would never reject you; he would never make you feel that something is wrong with you.  He would never ever make you feel unlovable.  You will never have to convince him to love you or convince him of your worth.  I could go on and on about this because my standards for you are far greater than I can express here.  Maybe I’ll do so in another letter.

 

Robin, I know I didn’t write this letter myself.  However, I know you know that this is how I truly feel.  I hope writing this letter was a healing experience for you.  And whenever, you need to hear something from me feel free to be the one to tell yourself the things that I do not know how to say.

 

I love you my little girl,

 

Dad

 

 

I shared both letters with my dad.

Although he has not changed drastically.

He makes the effort to tell me he loves me and gives me hugs.

He lights up when he sees me doing what I’m passionate about.

I know he is proud of me.


What changed is me.

I have changed because I finally accept him as he is

And no longer expect him to be someone he is not.

 

This has made our relationship better.

 

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“Bucket of Shit” written by Unknown & Adapted by Robin Mohilner

in My Stories / team THRIVE - OUR LIFE LESSONS  by June 15, 2011 0 comments

“Bucket of Shit”

Adapted by Robin Mohilner

Author Unknown

 

 

We all come into this world with two things:

 

A bucket of shit AND a shovel.

 

What matters in life is not what causes the shit in our buckets.

What matters is what we do with the shit we have.

 

 

Now we have some options for what we can do with our shit and our shovel:


1.) We can spend our life digging through the shit to figure out what it is and where it came from.

The shit won’t change. It will still be shit. But we have every right to sift through our shit and smell it for as long as we want.

 

 

2.) We can use our shovel to take our shit and put it in other people’s buckets.

Then we get to say, “I have no shit! This is your shit!”

 

 

‎3.) We can stick our shovels into other people’s bucket of shit and use our shovel to carry their shit into our bucket.

Doing this will allow us to take responsibility for everyone elses’ shit.

Everything will be our fault. We will stink and feel bad.

(This is what we do when we take things personally, by the way)

 

 

‎4.) We can use our own shovel to protect our bucket of shit to keep other people’s shit out of our bucket and keep ourselves from giving other people the shit that belongs to us.

 

 

Now when it comes to the shit itself…we have some options….

 

We can hide the shit from the world and pretend that we don’t have shit.

 

We can go around being stinky and unkind to each other.

 

OR

 

We can use the shit as fertilizer and plant the things that we desire to grow in our lives.

 

 

What you do with your shovel and bucket of shit is up to you.

 

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Happiness, Excitement & Stress do NOT necessarily mean MANIA. Happiness & Bipolar Disorder.

in Daily Living / Ideas About Depression / Ideas About Mania / My Work & Research / Support for Parents / Taking A Stand  by June 14, 2011 0 comments

One of the hardest challenges people living with bipolar disorder face is the fear that they cannot be happy, excited or experience stress in a normal way.

There is an assumption in our society that this is mania.

I believe it is NOT true.

The following article are simply my beliefs as a person who thrives with bipolar disorder and experiences a life full of happiness, excitement and stress.

HAPPINESS

Happiness that comes from feeling good about yourself…

self-esteem, self-worth, integrity, dignity, self-respect, what you’ve achieved, your family, how you treat people, give to people, gratitude for your life etc

….IS NOT MANIA…it is JOY.

Happiness and excitement that comes from what you plan to do in the FUTURE…

it is also JOY,

but because their is a GOAL that MAY invite the stressors of OVERWHELM or a drive of URGENCY…

the joy could lead to MANIA.

Therefore, happiness and excitement about what is current or in the past MAY be SAFE and not lead to mania at all.   It may be happiness and excitement about the future that may have the potential to welcome mania into our lives.

 

There is NOTHING WRONG with being happy and excited about the future.


We simply have to be more careful and pay attention to our sense of URGENCY and STOP when we feel URGENCY and /or OVERWHELM.

We must PAUSE…and take time to calm down and focus on one step at a time instead of the big OVERWHELMING picture.

The KEY here…is we have to be able to RECOGNIZE what URGENCY and OVERWHELM feel like in our bodies so we can respond to them RIGHT AWAY, before MANIA can kick in and we lose control.

On a different note:

Happiness or energy that feels excessive or strange to you could be mania.

The amount of happiness we feel, that is considered normal happiness, is often in proportion with the cause.

If we feel extremely happy and a burst of energy from experiencing something that is ordinary to us…

The chances are we may be experiencing mania.

 

STRESS

 

We cannot avoid STRESS in life.

There will ALWAYS be stress in our lives.

To believe that we cannot handle stress dis-empowers us.

We have to learn how to cope with STRESS and how to receive support when we are OVERWHELMED.

People living with bipolar disorder already have the tendency to hold everything in an be STRONG.

This way of being for us, holding everything in or hiding everything, IS NOT HEALTHY FOR US.

By telling us that we must maintain a stress-free life…it encourages us to hold everything in.

I believe we appear to NOT handle stress well because our whole lives we have held the pain, the suffering, the loss, the wounds and the damage INSIDE OURSELVES.

Therefore, when stress happens in our lives…coming from the outside of ourselves, it is too much, we have an episode.

Our own shame, guilt, internalized stigma, self-fear, lack of self-trust, low self-esteem and other self-destructive emotions and actions are enough stress to cause relapse without ANY external stress.

In fact, I believe that internalized stigma is more stress than any daily external stressor.

One reason why I believe I have not had a significant episode in 15 years…is because I don’t hold anything in.

I do not hide anything from anyone.

My transparency frees me from internal STRESS.

It does not mean that I don’t have stress, it means that when I have stress, I let it out.

I am not ashamed or disgraced to have bipolar disorder.


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A conversation that will carry me through difficult days & hopefully be an inspiration for so many others…I am so GRATEFUL. team THRIVE a team of people coming together to thrive with bipolar disorder.

in team THRIVE - OUR GRATITUDE  by June 14, 2011 0 comments

This conversation is a true gift to me and will motivate me during difficult days in my work.

 

I am so grateful.

 

This conversation took place on my Facebook page called “Thrive With Bipolar Disorder”

 

 

Kelly Quinn: Hi Robin. I just wanted to share something with you and your team members. I have decided to take back control of my life….I am going to the police with the name of the man that molested me repeatedly when I was just 10 years old. I am done with being a prisoner inside my own head because of what he did to me. My past affects my present relationships and choices, and as said on an episode of Oprah, He killed the person that I could have been. I am going to post my progress on my page, Memoirs of a Mood Disorder, in the hopes of inspiring others to speak out. It has taken me 23 years to get the courage to do this. I think I am finally ready to put this to rest. xx


Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: I am soooooo proud of you Kelly!

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: AND I want you to know that you are just as much a part of “team THRIVE” as the rest of the 128 of us! 😉

YOU BELONG HERE. Your voice matters here.

 

Kelly Quinn:  thank you Robin. Its nice to feel a part of something that I believe does genuine good. You do a terrific job of inspiring me….I am hopefully going back to Uni next year here in Australia to become a psychologist. I was worried that my Bipolar and PTSD would get in the way….you have shown me that it is only our distorted thought process that gets in the way. i will thrive. I will achive my goals. i will control my illness and not let it control me. Thank you for helping me to believe in myself again xxx

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder:  Wow…I am so deeply touched. I would be honored to have you as a colleague. I am happy to talk with you about the journey anytime.

 

Kelly Quinn: big thanks 🙂 ♥♥

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder:   You will thrive, Kelly. You will achieve your goals. I am so grateful to be a light in your life.

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: xx ♥ xx and I’m happy teary…

 

Kelly Quinn:   and you have been a big light too….it has only been since being a part of this page, and reading your blog that I have really decided to take control. I thought I was controlling my illness with medication, therapy, exercise, routine etc but it takes more than that. You have shown me that I can rise above it all….even though I know it will be a long and bumpy road, I will not give up the fight!

 

Kelly Quinn:   xxx

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Wow. I am speechless.

 

Kelly Quinn: You, Robin, are our inspiration to THRIVE ♥

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Thank you sooooo much Kelly for sharing this with me. It is so incredibly fulfilling.

 

Kelly Quinn: it is my pleasure, and thank YOU. xxx

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: I want you to know that I am keeping this conversation forever…it will help me through the hard days.

 

Kelly Quinn: wow, now I am speechless….

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Would it be okay with you if I shared this conversation on my gratitude page? I believe it could inspire soooo many people

 

Kelly Quinn: it is more than ok…..i see it as “paying it forward”. You have inspired me, I would love to be able to do the same for others.

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Speechless again… Thank you!

 

Kelly Quinn:   ‎🙂 !! xx

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Why I Prevent Mania. Reasons to prevent relapse of bipolar disorder episodes.

in Ideas About Mania / My Stories / Uncategorized  by June 13, 2011 0 comments

 

A common question that I am asked is, “Why would you take medication and do whatever it takes to prevent mania?”

 

The simple answer is there is no way I would have achieved any of my goals and accomplishments in my life if I had chosen mania instead.

 

I take lithium (even though I have the horrible side effects of “lithium-induced psoriasis) and do everything I can to prevent mania for the last 15 years because the peak of mania caused me to become somebody I truly fear…someone who is not me.

 

I was completely out of control in my mind and body.

I couldn’t stop emotionally hurting myself and other people.

I could not stop hurting the people I love no matter how badly I wanted to and how hard I tried.

I have never been so scared and in so much pain in my life that I never wanted to experience it again EVER.

 

And I never want to experience the full-blown depression I had after that mania.

 

In that form of depression, I did not feel alive anymore.

The great philosopher, Descartes, says you know you exist because “I think therefore I am.”

 

I could not think.

I could not feel.

I did not believe “I am” anymore.


Who I am, was destroyed and dead…yet I was still breathing.

I did just enough to survive because I was forced.

If I had stayed that way for long, and had not had help, I probably would have commit suicide as soon as I had the strength to do so.

 

I do whatever it takes to NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT AGAIN.

 

Yet, I am persistent about me being who I am.

I refuse to lose myself to medication. I do whatever it takes to prevent mania while maintaining who I am.

I don’t even let myself go a few days, let alone a few weeks with hypomania….if I were to wait that long, I’d lose control and lose myself.

 

Of course I miss hypomania.


That was the most incredible and awesome experience of my life.

I trust that nothing else in life will ever come close.

Yet, I know that if I choose mania, I will have the most incredible UP TO a few months EVER then full-blown mania will kick in because you can’t stop it…and everything else in my life that I have worked beyond so hard to achieve will be destroyed.

Even if I only had hypomania…I would still make the WORST decisions humanly possible because I would take on FAR more than I can handle EVER…and I would destroy my quality of life.

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Relapse Detection: How to detect if you may be experiencing relapse of episodes of bipolar disorder.

in Ideas About Depression / Ideas About Mania / Ideas: Ways to Thrive / My Work & Research  by June 13, 2011 0 comments

 

Every person living with bipolar disorder, no matter how stable, lives with the realistic concern and fear of relapse.

However, how we respond when we notice we are vulnerable or beginning to experience relapse determines the consequences and severity of an episode in our lives.

 

This article will look at relapse from the perspective of:

  1. What to notice in ourselves when we are experiencing relapse.
  2. Recognizing triggers of relapse.

 

 

Part 1: What To Notice To Detect Relapse

 

 

Our Interest

 

If you have a loss of interest in pleasurable activities, you could be relapsing into depression.

 

If you become obsessed with a goal that you cannot stop doing, you could be relapsing into mania.

 

 

Our Energy

 

If you have unusual difficulty waking up in the morning, getting out of bed and doing your daily routine, you could be experiencing depression.

 

If you have more energy than usual, more excitement, more passion, more pleasure, more exuberance and more irritability, you could be experiencing mania. Especially if there is a sense of URGENCY that goes along with it.

 

 

How we are thinking

 

If your thoughts and memories are more self-destructive than usual with the EMOTIONS of sadness, guilt, shame etc, you could be experience depression.

 

If your thoughts are racing through your mind, you are having multiple thoughts at once and/or your thoughts get jumbled…that’s mania.

 

If your thoughts are solely obsessed on a goal and you cannot stop thinking about it, that could be mania.

 

 

How we are feeling

 

Depression makes us feel bad about ourselves and the world.

 

Mania makes us feel like we can do anything, that we have special abilities or higher powers…if you are feeling unusually like omnipotent (all powerful like God)…you may be experiencing mania

 

 

Our behavior

 

Depression steals behavior from us. It robs us of our ability to function. If you are having difficulty functioning, you may be experiencing depression.

 

Depression steals our sex drive.

 

Mania gives us an abundance of energy to do an abundance of behaving. Mania empowers people to be highly productive if it is channeled in that way. However, mania can be incredibly destructive and cause people to do RISKY (YET PLEASURABLE) behaviors that they would not otherwise do…if you are experiencing these behaviors, you may be experiencing mania.

 

Mania creates an insatiable sex drive.

 

 

How we talk

 

Depression makes communication difficult. Thoughts move slowly and memory gets lost.

 

People experiencing mania cannot stop talking. They have a flight of ideas that may not even be connected because mania causes so many thoughts at once.

 

 

How we feel in our bodies

 

Depression can cause people to not feel alive.

 

Mania can cause us to feel this burning energy inside of our bodies. People with mania (once they know what it is) can recognize that they are out of control in both their mind and their body.

 

 

Part 2: Triggers of Relapse

 

 

STRESS

 

Circumstances: Loss or illness of a loved one. Loss of a job or income. Loss of your home. etc

 

Home environment: there is OVERWHELMING pressure and demands on you and no time for self-care; lack of peace; constant stress between family members;

 

Stressful marriage/relationship: you are not getting your emotional needs met or are not getting the support you need; poor communication; not enough time together.

 

Financial Stress: Not enough money to make ends meet.

 

Children are blessings, but they cause so much stress on each of these levels. Being a parent is HARD…and extremely hard if you are a parent living with bipolar disorder.

 

 

 

OUR OLD EMOTIONAL WOUNDS

 

Each one of us since the day we are conceived (I may talk about this another time) experience things that wound us.

 

Not all wounds heal.

In fact, many we just live with…and if we are lucky we nurture them so they don’t determine our choices and determine our lives.

 

We poke each others wounds all of the time. In fact, when we feel hurt, it is rarely what happens in the moment that hurts us….often times what happens in the moment connects us with all of our past hurt and makes us feel a WHOLE LOT OF PAIN.

 

Most of our early wounds are the ones that hurt the most and get built on by life. We seek out chances to heal those wounds by repeating hurtful things until we know better.

Those early wounds are usually happen in relationship with our parents, siblings (except in the cases of child abuse and sexual abuse that take place outside of the home) and our early peer relationships.

 

Rejection and denial of our emotional needs as human beings play a large role in the wounds that we ALL carry.

 

These wounds if torn open by an EVENT or the MEMORY OF AN EVENT can invite relapse.

 

People often don’t know their emotional wounds have been triggered until after the episode or after they have lashed out at a loved one or society. Some people never know and can’t understand why they feel the way they do.

 

 

 

ROLE IN THE COMMUNITY

 

I believe that a lack of fulfillment (a lack of giving of yourself…a lack of having something of value to offer others) can lead to relapse, particularly depression.

 

When people believe that they have nothing to contribute and are of no value, that may invite depression and drug use. If this value returns they may feel more inclined to join in socially, start trying to get out of their depressive state, and if drug use was prevalent they may even opt to drug test themselves in order to keep on a straight path.

 

All people have something to offer others of value. If this gets ignored or goes without nurture in a person…I believe mental illness may get significantly worse.

 

 

Why It Can Be Hard To See Relapse

 

I believe depression is very sneaky. It can creep in slowly and then just clobber people.

 

Mania, well it isn’t as sneaky, it makes you feel better than you have ever felt before and it is very hard to not want to experience it. However, the consequences of mania, may be why people choose to take medication and prevent relapse in the first place.

 

 

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Gratitude on a MONDAY!

in team THRIVE - OUR GRATITUDE  by June 13, 2011 0 comments

As a Team our goal is to focus on GRATITUDE

Friday – Sunday (and if we miss the mark it is fine)

HERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL…GRATITUDE ON MONDAY

 

 

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Good morning “team THRIVE” (at least it is Monday morning where I am in Los Angeles)! What would you like to talk about today?

Emmy: how good life can be! :}

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Emmy…do share!

Emmy:   i’ve been so grateful. i mean, to have air in my lungs, food in my stomach, and eyes to see the beauty in the world. what could be better?

Thrive With Bipolar Disorder: Woo hoo! Keep sharing…what else are you grateful for?

Emmy: i just know that there’s nothing wrong with me. and that’s great to know.

 

 

Lisa: I am GRATEFUL for a very special man in my life, my fiance’ . He has stood strong by my side through so much. We will be married in 18 days. I am grateful for my Dad for teaching me so many things. I have ‘issues’ with my Mom, but I am Grateful that she really did her best in raising us. She was emotionaly detatched…no drugs or alcohol, which is another thing I am VERY grateful for…that I was raised in a safe home.

 

Lisa: My Dad was my Mom’s caretaker because she has Alzheimer’s Disease. Early stage. He took care of her until he was too sick to anymore. They moved to Oak Park then he passed @ HospiceCare in Fitchburg, Wi. I am VERY Grateful to HospiceCare for taking good care of my Dad, Don Getter. R.I.P…Dad…1-28-2011

 

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Self-Care Journal: Day 1 ~ June 12, 2011

in team THRIVE - OUR GRATITUDE  by June 13, 2011 0 comments

How “team THRIVE” does SELF-CARE

 

 

Isabella: I done some wii fit training, and more yoga and some belly dancing just to blow of some steam and energy. Been reading a bit, fixed my feet (pedicure) and took a long Spa-shower just to feel like a swan princess. I guess the next thing I will do is cuddle up in the sofa with a bowl of ice cream and some episodes of LOST 🙂

 

Living with bipolar: I pampered myself, did some housework, worked on my makeup studio, made a slideshow….ohhh and my husband cooked me dinner and cleaned up =)

 

Julie: I have recognized that this past year, I have completely changed my environment to that of peaceful surroundings with loving friends and family. I’m enjoying it mostly. Might go to the beach today to sit by the water and do some “rock picking” to find agates and other little gems to make into jewelry I can sell. It’s therapeutic…the water and the rocks and jewelry making.

 

Jen: I’m starting a new job today, one that’s in the field of the degree I just graduated with, and one that I hope will be challenging and fulfulling to me. It’s been my first full time job since diagnosis, wish me luck!

 

Norman: Hanging out with my son, daughter-in-law and my new twin granddaughter.

 

Kelly: I have tried to keep my environment calm, and utilized my creative side xx

 

Julie: I ended up going to the park near my house with my daughter and my two grandchildren. We had a picnic. My two year old granddaughter found a group of girls to play with and when they left, one of them came to say goodbye and they hugged and gave each other a kiss. My 11 month old chubby grandson smiles almost constantly. We sat in the grass and I fed him snacks. We went back to my house and my g-daughter helped me plant a garden. Then we had shrimp scampi.

 

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Gratitude Journal: Day 2 & 3 ~ June 11 & 12, 2011

in team THRIVE - OUR GRATITUDE  by June 13, 2011 0 comments

 

6/11/2011

team THRIVE’s GRATITUDE

 

Norman: This might sound strange but I’m grateful that I live in Sonoma Co. CA I couldn’t imagine living any where else.

 

Jennifer: I feel pretty stabilized and for that im grateful…i havent felt this way in a long time or maybe even ever. My meds are being adjusted and I feel normal. Not to high not too low. Im thankful for my dog…he loves me no matter what 🙂 im also thabkful that my insomnia has left for about a week now ive been tired and sleeping through the night. I feel so blessed right now. Woohoo!

 

 

6/12/2011

 

Lesa: Having my dog daisy with me.

 

Living with bipolar: spending quality time with my children making pancakes.

 

Julie: A boyfriend who tries hard to understand and is kind and supportive.

 

Lisa: MAJOR self-destructoin last night…I’m Ok now.

 

Lisa: My fiance’ who has stood by me thorough some tough times already. I love you.

 

Norman: Since 1975 I’ve been to alcohol treatment 5 times and hospitalized 4 times for BPD. I’ve been very successful and I’ve been homeless. I’m grateful that both my son’s and now their wives have always been there and have never judged me. I sometimes wonder why they never quit on my, I’m grateful they haven’t.

 

Jennifer: my new kayak and my new enjoyable hobbie…having enough confidence to be myself. I saw some beautiful things. Ive been needing an “out” for sometime now. And we got a great deal.

 

 

 

 

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