The Bipolar Brain: The Fight For Domination…when the left cerebral hemisphere is winning
One question I often get is, “What’s happening in the brain during a manic and depressive episode?”
The truth is that scientists don’t fully know. Scientists are finding common evidence, but the brain is so complex that nothing we know about it can not be considered fact that will apply to everyone.
Therefore, I am going to share with you my ideas that are based on both my current research and my own experience of my brain in action.
A Balanced Brain – (No brain is truly balance, but let’s pretend)
A balanced brain does its best to equally disperse resources. Therefore there is no competition for resources. Both hemispheres have what they need, the layers of cortex (where our higher functioning takes place) have what they need. The limbic system (the seat of our emotions) has what its needs. Everything is basically working together and there’s harmony.
Yeah right! No brain works like this most of the time.
Bipolar brains just happen to be extreme.
A bipolar brain is a highly competitive brain, which is why many of us are so intelligent, inventive and creative. Different structures and hemispheres of our brain compete for resources to be able to do extreme things that require a lot of energy and brain power.
During Mania – Reminder this is not fact it is my theory
During Mania the left hemisphere of the brain is dominating the right hemisphere. But the right hemisphere isn’t turning it’s cheek, it is fighting back with all it’s got. This is how the peak of mania and mixed episodes may come to be.
Mood – Mood Swings
This may be do to a structure in our brain called the Orbitofrontal Cortex getting too much energy and not enough energy as it gets pushed and pulled back and forth during the battle between the hemispheres. The Orbitofrontal Cortex is responsible for things like decision making and is sensitive to reward and punishment which may be a large factor in mood.
Memory
The structure in the brain called the Hippocampus (that is responsible for forming, sorting and storing memory) appears to be significantly inhibited during mania and/or depression. My experience was that it was incredibly inhibited when the right hemisphere took over and I went into depression, but not inhibited at all during mania.
When we are able to consume analytical information faster and easier than ever before, when our thoughts are racing, when we have multiple thoughts at once and when these thoughts get jumbled up because we cannot keep up with them….
This may be our left hemisphere, particularly in a structure called our Pre-Frontal Cortex, that is consuming so much energy and power that it has taken by dominating the right hemisphere that we cannot keep up with our brain’s ability to function and we cannot express ourselves because we cannot get it out fast enough.
They say that the average human being uses 7-10% of their brain power, well that’s a joke to someone who is manic!
When we are impulsive and take tremendous risks…
This may mean that two specific structures called the Anterior Cingulate (responsible for social inhibition)and Posterior Cingulate (responsible for being sensitive to risk) have been shut down by the lack of resources in the battle between the hemispheres. Research shows that these structures are somewhat depleted in bipolar brains to begin with, so during mania they may not be functioning.
When we feel invincible…
The battle in our brain may be taking a huge toll on our Amygdalas. The amygdalas are both responsible for emotional responses as well as our response to fear. According to some studies, bipolar brains may have smaller amygdala in the left hemisphere and larger in the right. Therefore, when the left hemisphere is taking over during mania, the little amygdala is overloaded and may be depleted of its resources to appropriately respond to fear.
When we have a heightened sense of spirituality or oneness with all life…basically when we feel we are a god, prophets, higher being, aliens etc…
There is a part of the left hemisphere, whose name I do not know, that has been identified as the seat of spirituality. Some people have it, other people do not. During mania when the left hemisphere is consuming all of the brain’s resources this part of the brain soaks it up and runs with the energy until it is all burned up.
When we experience hallucinations or delusions…
Hallucinations and Delusions may be where the true battle between the left and right brain taking place. This may be where the right brain starts to win at times. This is all my theory from experience.
I believe that as the left and right hemispheres of the brain are battling the messages that get passed from neuron to neuron get disrupted or convoluted causing the message to change so extremely because the message gets changed by each neuron in the neural pathway.
It is basically like playing the telephone game, gone out of control.
When this happens our brain no longer sees what our eyes see and no longer hears what our ears hear. We are no longer able to be in touch with the world outside our our brain. Our brain is battling and doesn’t have the resources that moment to focus on getting accurate messages through.
During the Peak of Mania or a Mixed Episode- when all emotions explode out
This is the last fight. Mania gives the battle everything it’s got by exploding out positive feelings and emotion. But the left hemisphere has been exhausted by the right and doesn’t have many energy left.
The right hemisphere dominates with the power it has and explodes negative, ugly, nasty, horrible feelings and emotions. It does this until it exhausts itself.
During Depression – The Exhaustion
Both left and right hemispheres are depleted. They are done. Finished. And gave up the battle. Neither has any energy left to give.
Hence this is why we feel our brain is dead.
To learn about my theory about how the right brain dominates during depression, I welcome you to come back for more.
awesome post, thank you. Lots of good information and ideas.
Hello, I am 22 I have 3 siblings and tonight my Dad has called the ambulence for the 3rd time to take my mother to the hospital because of a manic episode. She is Bi polar and has been for many years. She is medicated and does everything in her power to have control and be the best she can be with her illness. It is the typical story, bother her parents dealt with mental illness, my Dad has a history of alcohol abuse and now my twin brother and I are medicated for anxiety. I say all of this because my oldest sister is very scared of “going crazy “. She feels she is doomed to and while I deal with some similar issues to my mom’s disease, I in no way feel that I am in danger of becoming Bi polar.
My question to you is am I being naieve in thinking this and does my sister have a chance of being right. She is 26 and we are grown and married and living very honest happy lives. Is there some kind of dead line where we are immune to this?
– Concerned
Dear Concerned,
I have so much compassion for what you and your family are feeling. I wish I had an answer, but I don’t.
I am legally and ethically not allowed to practice therapy outside of California and give any kind of medical etc advice because it is all beyond my scope of practice. I have to make it very clear that what I am providing here is not therapy.
However, I can share from my own story what I have learned about bipolar disorder that may give you some hope.
In doing my research over the years, I have learned that bipolar disorder is not solely genetic. Genes play a huge role in the disorder; however, they are not the only determining factor.
There is this saying, “Its not what happens to you that counts, it is how you respond to it.”
I believe (and the research I’ve done supports) that is true, even for bipolar disorder.
I believe that I am living with bipolar disorder because I have all of the genes for it, but I also grew up basically stuffing all of my feelings and pain into a jar and only showed strength and refused to ever be vulnerable. I did this through significant traumas in my life, like my mom’s cancer as a child and my grandmother’s death. As a result, I believe I ignited the genes of bipolar disorder and they went in to action.
To this day, I believe I have not had a major manic episode since my very first one and very few minor manic episodes because I comply with medication and based on how I respond to stress, pain, etc. now.
I hope this offers you hope.
With Compassion,
Robin
You hit it right on the head when you said after a manic episode the brain feels dead…its a indescrible feeling really…my question is does the medication make this feeling go away? Im scared because i honestly dont want to have to drink or smoke weed to feel excitement and joy in my life.
Medication helped me get back to a place where I could feel again, without turning me into a robot. I experience genuine excitement and joy in my life without full-blown mania.
Everyone is different, but I want you to know that there is hope. And it is possible to feel and be full of life again.
With Hope,
Robin Mohilner
“Medication helped me get back to a place where I could feel again, without turning me into a robot!
This is great news for folk like me. Hope and fear surround the subject of medication for myself. I have latched onto negative information about Mood Stabilisers in order to justify my non-compliance with them – and there is plenty of information on the internet to find. There have also been friends and family who have persuaded me that I am better off without “all those tablets that you are on”. I have listened to people who have insisted that drinking alcohol and smoking pot are a “safer” alternative to “drugs that are prescribed”. I have experienced at close hand the effect Benzodiazapines have had on a close relative.
Addiction of prescribed or unprescribed drugs is sad to witness. The problem facing people who work in trying to reduce the harm that addiciton can cause is immense. I have seen its destsructivesness at close hand and witnessed the collapse of a family.
Therefore there has not been much trust for myself when having to deal with the “system”.
This is something I am still battling with and continue to do so, however I derive great comfort from the fact that given a chance – mood stabilisers can and will help me.
I am inspired and motivated by your blog Robin! The work you are doing is so worthwhile! If sufferers and their carers understand more about the brain and its functioning it can only help!
Reblogged this on 1966buttons and commented:
Read this – its fascinating!
I could have Aripeplazole and Mood Stabiliser (Depakote)
or
Asenapine and mood stabiliser Depakote (Depakote)
Popular psychology has grossly overestimated the significance of cerebral lateralization.
As for “spirituality,” you could be thinking about the parietal lobe, some of whose functions researchers have associated with “self-transcendence.” I quote: “Both the left and right parietal systems play a determining role in self transcendence, the personality trait measuring predisposition to spirituality.” Actually, the word “spirituality” is kinda sketchy, too ambiguous to be favored in a serious neuroscientific discussion.
Hello Robin. I am still on Depakote 1250mg a day and 25mg Quetiapine at night.
I have some theories about Critisism. For example parent being overly critical and not praising when praise is due. I think that in my case it made me more anxious and even paranoid. My mother would talk about me and my siblings to other people such as her friends and family. We were all adopted. I think she felt insecure about herself and her mothering skills. She was very good at lots of things that she did, such as hobbies etc, but may have felt a failure that she didn’t have children that survived (one baby that died after 2 hours).
We all eventually did have problems – as actually everyone does to some extent – because that is life really isn’t it? One mainly cannabis, one mainly alcohol myself had “break-downs” to diagnosis of Bipolar at aged 30.
Mum also became addicted to Ativan at aged 48 ish and is still on that 32 years later.
She is passive/aggressive and mostly avoids confrontation. If she wanted to get her way she would go to bed until she received an apology (for example from my father).
She is unable to move forward or have much insight into her affect on people or on her behaviour because her tranquilliser addiction has prevented her from allowing her to change and move on as most people can do. It’s also possible that she didn’t want to change because that was her “comfort zone” created at some point earlier in her life.
When I hugged her as a child she would say I was hugging her too tight or something and I felt rejected but I did try to persevere as I got older.
I learned when I had my first child that hugging comes naturally and that a child can love one back unconditonally. I still think parents love their children more than the children love them but that’s possibly coloured by my own experience. I have at times felt guilty when I didn’t feel love for my mother.
I can love her now – but I still don’t trust her. There’s a simple reason for that but it would still take much longer to explain.
Critisism, trust, paranoia.
My father told us that Mum could not keep a secret – so don’t tell her a secret.
Whether this was due to the medication she was on or what – I am not sure. Clearly at some stage Mum had revealed a secret of Dad’s to someone and he felt humiliated or something like that. She was nervous and anxious, had agoraphobia, only went out when someone went with her, had panic attacks, at times she was histerical and exhibited irrational behaviour.
She was very intelligent, thoughtful about other people, remembered birthdays, had a part-time job, was very involved in the church etc. Mostly she liked to be in Control with a capital C. I imagine that thinking she was in Control gave her some comfort as her addiction to tranquillisers etc had disturbed her reality in other ways.
How that has affected the family is unfortunate really. But only her closest friends and her children know how hard it has been – both for her and for us.
I am certain that low self-esteem has some connection in all this. Also the struggle to overcome anxiety etc. She did take anti-depressants for 20 years prior to the ativan (tryptizol)
One of my struggles has been the panic I have felt when I think I must have done something wrong – it must be my fault for example – you know – and sometimes we do upset each other as well – in the family situation. What I think also happened is that especially after Dad became ill and died – but possibly even before that – Mum didn’t want me to leave home – even if I met someone – she never usually liked any of my partners, she criticised my friends when she could – even in childhood – looked for something wrong in them.
What some people don’t realise about paranoia is that it is present in all human beings as a sense that protects us from potential danger. Most of the time I can rationalise it and now that I have been on mood stabilisers since 2012 – I think that mine has improved a great deal.
I also have a faith in God and go to church. My faith has helped me to also come to terms with the fact that I am not in control – life is not something we have the power over. We cannot control what people think about us. And things happen in life and in the world that we have no control over. But to believe that a mighty power is taking care of me is of great comfort. To believe God loves me and He is my friend above all others is a treasure to me worth more than anything.
Medication etc has helped me and reading your blog encouraged me to start on Mood Stabilisers after a long break from them.
I also think that Behaviour is something I need to look at – when one spends too much time alone with the TV etc one forgets how to behave with people – possibly – or maybe I never learnt properly because of teenage breakdowns and withdrawals from social circles.
Recovery is Hard Work – Everyday. Please will people with depression and/or Bipolar – understand – its hard work to keep one’s spirits up – but the rewards are great. Life is far more satisfying when you develop a sense of structure and purpose in your life.
I am constantly “failing” at things – and thinking “What a disaster” but to Live is worth the struggle. People are special – and it is lovely to have friends and develop friendships. I have denied myself such things for a while now – but it’s still hard work!
Love is the word I am thinking of now.
Learning to love life, love ownself, and love ones friends and family.
and yes forgiveness – because we all have to forgive if we want to sustain relationships – and relationships are all stronger for the forgiveness. (and that doesn’t necessarily have to come from a Christian point of view – forgiveness is just a sensible thing to do.
Anger and hate in me are being replaced with love – and that has to begin again with each new day for me. We all get negative stuff like anger and hate – but it eats you up inside if you let it fester – I am testament to that.
i am tired as I type this and things like that – definitely not scientific! 🙂
Thank you for your work Robin
Kind wishes to you and Happy New Year 2014!
hi Robin, i randomly came across your WONDERFUL POST as i was writing my own on bipolar disorder! so, i featured yours in mine. here is the link:
Thank you for everything you do.
http://www.loveinfinityforall.com/#!Homeland-Carrie-is-not-crazy-she-is-a-genius-My-personal-experience-with-Bipolar-Disorder-/c1nf/5975CCA4-A005-481B-8555-3E987F8ADE04
This is an amazing article. Please get in contact with me if you will I have questions!